Setting the scene
This is the first of many regular newsletters that Judy and I hope to create to describe our European trip next year. We would like to keep you up to date with our preparations initially, and then with some news of the actual trip. We hope you will enjoy reading about our trip and share with us, our experiences The Editor
Bondi fruit shops beseiged
It has been reported that a couple posing as backpackers have been pestering the owners of fruit shops in the Bondi area for cardboard boxes. The manager of the Bondi road Fruitorium, when interviewed told me, “They come at all hours of the day and night, asking for empty boxes, I can’t keep up with the demand, I will have to sell more bananas at this rate to keep up.
The Plan – Stage 1
The plan is to rent out our home, fully furnished for a year. We have to store our personal belongings, books, computers and hi-fi gear etc. The flight from Australia is with Gulf Air GF149 leaving Sydney, Kingsford-Smith airport at 22:15 on Sunday 17th Jan 1999. After a stop-over in Bahrain in the Persian Gulf for a few days, we will arrive in a cold and wet London on Thursday 21st January 1999 (It is always cold and wet in London during January).
Initially, we will stay with my Mum for a few days and celebrate her 90th birthday on the 23rd. She does not know Judy and I are coming so if you bump into her please don’t mention it.
Judy has a contract with the UK office of Masterpack starting on February 1st. This is at Banbury, north of Oxford. We hope to find furnished accommodation in or around Banbury for 6 months.
Later this month, I will send out a quantity of E-mails to “head-hunters” in the centre of England (The Midlands). I don’t expect to land a contract before we leave but they will know I am coming.
We plan to work for 5-6 months and then travel. see “The Plan – Stage 2”
Banbury
Banbury Cherwell district, county of Oxfordshire, Eng. It lies along the River Cherwell. For centuries Banbury was noted for its ale, cheese, and Banbury cakes, a spiced currant pastry. Here Edward I erected the last of the series of 12 crosses in memory of Queen Eleanor (died 1290) that marked stages of the funeral procession to Westminster Abbey.
The original Banbury Cross, celebrated in the English nursery rhyme, was destroyed by Puritans in 1602 but was replaced in 1858.
“Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,
To see a fine lady ride on a white horse.
With rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes,
She will have music wherever she goes”.
Banbury Castle (1125) was twice besieged by Parliamentarians during the English Civil Wars of the mid-17th century and was later demolished. Broughton Castle (14th-16th centuries) lies 2.5 miles (4 km) to the southwest. Banbury market is noted for its cattle sales. The town is expanding as a centre for the overspill population of Greater London and is increasingly important for light industry, commerce, and tourism. Pop. (1981) 38,191.
Keeping in touch
We would like to keep in touch with all our friends while we are away on our European trip. The way we would like to do this is to produce a newsletter like this periodically while we are away. We could use either Email or post it to the World Wide Web using our web site. Lastly, we could send it by snail mail (The Post Office). Please let us know if you would like to keep in touch and how.
The Plan – Stage 2
We hope to travel around the UK during the first 6 months of next year while we are working. When we finish work in June or July we hope to fly to Moscow and St. Petersburg for a week. The Grand Tour begins. We already own a half share of a VW Kombi van (Devon conversion) with my son Matthew and his girlfriend Mandy. We plan to travel through Europe in the Kombi and seeing, France – Champagne, Picardy, Alsace and Lorraine. Luxembourg and down the Rhine to Strasbourg. Through the Swiss Alps to Liechtenstein and Austria. On to Praha in the Czech republic, to Poland, the Slovak republic and Romania. We then head west back to Tuscany and Umbria in Italy, the French Riviera and down through Spain and Portugal and back to England via Bordeaux.
The Last Word
Needless to say everyone is welcome to join us at any stage. We’ll be in Banbury til about the end of July, then we’ll be moving about, but Nov/Dec ’99 we hope to be fairly “stationary” in sunny Spain and Portugal. And any suggestions about places “not to be missed” are also very welcome. Lastly you can E-mail us on bhunt@pinncomp.com.au, or see this newsletter at our Web page www.pinncomp.com.au. Take a look at Barry’s jazzy homepage there also. You can tell he’s into computers!
T’up North
Editorial
Welcome to Newsletter Number 2. There are a few tales to tell so without further ado “On with the Motley” – which as you all know is “an incongruous mixture” according to the Oxford English Dictionary. The Editor
We have arrived here in the UK. We found a rented cottage the first day we looked. It is 10 miles drive south of Banbury in Oxfordshire. We live on the edge of the village of Barford St Michael. The cottage is called Cherry Warren, Fir Warren is next door.
Cherry Warren
Our cottage is owned by the local squire’s family, the landlord lives in “The Manor”. The manor house used to be surrounded by a moat, which is fed by the River Swere. Now there is only half a moat and some fishponds that are home to trout. There are only two main families in the village one is the squire’s and the other the worker’s. Lambing starts in a few weeks – I hope it gets a bit warmer otherwise they will all demand woolly jumpers.
View from the cottage
The total population of our village and the next one, Barford St. Michael is 575 including Judy and I.
________________________________________
That Ryme In the first newsletter we described a bit about Banbury and its cross and related that famous ryme. To refresh your memory.
“Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross, To see a fine lady ride on a white horse. With rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes, She will have music wherever she goes”.
We can now put you out of your misery, the cock-horse is a fifth horse that was used to help pull a “coach and four” on ardous journies.
________________________________________
The Saga of the Tax Disc. (The Rego)
We have taken over Matthew’s VW Kombi van, it needed registering. We took the Insurance papers to the local Post Office 5 times before we got the tax disc. This process was spread over 14 days.
The events of each trip are described here:
1 We only had a credit card and the post office only took cash.
2 We drew out the cash from an ATM but left it at home.
3 The insurance note had been endorsed with a “Green Card” for use overseas (I thought a green card was what you needed to work in the USA) Anyway, with a green card we could not get an English rego.
4 We then insured the van with another firm – the insurance had run out anyway. The new insurance cover note had the wrong registration number a “V” instead of a “B”. A new cover note with the correct registration came by post.
5 We registered the van 17 days after the first try.
________________________________________
The Vanishing Job.
I went for two job interviews last week. The first was in London’s Docklands, which was an interesting journey. The train journey to London was fine – 1 hour 10 mins to Marleybone station. Only three stops on the way. Then the fun started, it took me another hour and 10 minutes to get to Coldharbour via the underground and the Docklands light Railway. I had to change trains 4 times! I was not impressed.
The next day, Friday was fine, same trip to London and then 20 minutes on the tube. I attended the interview at 2:30 and was home by 5:30 – a message was waiting offering me the job.
Sadly they withdrew the offer on Monday, as the finance department would not give them any money to fund my position. They had interviewed without a budget. Ho Hum back to the Internet for a job.
________________________________________
If you are passing
You will need instructions to find us. From Australia you left at Singapore, past Turkey and land at London Heathrow. Hire a car and head north on the M25 and M40. Then follow directions below.
From the south
1 Exit the M40 at Junction 10 (also Cherwell Services)
2 Left on to B430
3 Past Ardley Rd signed to Fritwell
4 Right on to Somerton Rd to Somerton (now Half a mile from M40 roundabout)
5 Go 3 and a half miles to Somerton – past Cross Roads Farm and Troy Farm
6 Through Somerton – under Railway bridge, over Oxford Canal and over River Swere.
7 Through North Aston to Oxford road A4260 (Somerton to A4260 is 2 and a half miles)
8 Turn right (North) towards Banbury
9 After 2 and a half miles you come to Deddington.
10 Turn left on the Hempton Road to Hempton.
11 At Hempton (About a mile and a half from A4260)
12 In Hempton as soon as you see the brown sign for “Waterfowl Sanctury” indicate and turn right at the tiny signpost on the left side of the road saying “Barford Bloxham Banbury” (St Michael and St John)
13 Encourage all passengers to sit facing the back of the car/van/rickshaw and look out of the back window at this point
14 When you get to the village take the second road on the left. There are only two. It is signposted Lower Street (Only visible from the other way, this is why the passengers are all facing the other way!). You may see the sign to “Church and Village Hall”
15 If you go over a hump back bridge and a right hand turn all in one you have gone 100 yards too far! Go back – do not pass Go
16 Lower Street is very narrow and winds a lot. Don’t blink or you will miss the George Inn on the right. You cannot, however miss the church up to your left.
17 Now look out for a sign by the side of the road “Post Office and Farm Shop”.
18 At the sign stay on the road but look up toward the field on the left and see our cottage. If you got lost at some point it may be dark so image the cottage, please.
19 Take the next track on the left and park on the black gravel – our front (and only) door is on the right of the joined cottages as you stand and gaze at them.
20 If you accidentally keep going then you’ll join up with another road and then see a sign saying “Barford Lodge”, on your left. If so, go back!
________________________________________
From the north (or if you missed M40 Junction 10)
1 Not surprisingly exit at M40 Junction 11.
2 Exit motorway and turn left on A422 – Henna Way to Banbury.
3 Straight on at the next two roundabouts
4 Left at the next roundabout A361 – South Rd to Banbury town centre. I think it is signposted to Chipping Norton.
5 Straight on at the Castle St traffic lights.
6 Straight on at the Banbury Cross roundabout.
7 At the traffic lights at the top of the hill, turn right at the A361Bloxham Rd to Bloxham.
8 Past the Aston Martin Plant at Wykham Mill.
9 Through the village of Bloxham – very narrow and often cars parked to make things even more difficult.
10 Note the church on the left – lit up at night.
11 At the other end of the village bear left at the mini-roundabout signed to “The Barfords”
12 Past RAF Barford St John – radio antenna – light up at night.
13 Beware of the sharp right turn in a few yards – there is a small sign.
14 Less than a mile you go over a hump back bridge and a left hand turn all in one.
15 In a very very few yards turn into Lower Street on the right. There is also a signpost to the Church and Village Hall.
16 Lower Street is very narrow and winds a lot. Don’t blink or you will miss the George Inn on the right. You cannot, however miss the church up to your left.
17 Now look out for a sign by the side of the road “Post Office and Farm Shop”.
18 At the sign stay on the road but look up the field on the left and see our cottage. If you got lost at some point it may be dark so image the cottage, please.
19 Take the next track on the left and park on the black gravel – our front (and only) door is on the right of the joined cottages as you stand and gaze at them
A Note from the Entertainment Director
I’ve noticed a number of things about England this time around. Everything is so dinky. Dinky little window latches, dinky little cars, some have just three wheels, tiny plastic bottles of milk. Everything is in 10 sizes but labeled per 100mls, which makes shopping interesting. You can also get 2 for 1. We bought mother-in-law 480 tea bags this way and saved $7 (2.75 pounds). Luckily she drinks a lot of tea.
I was invited to do some client work at Milton Keynes (35 miles east) and jumped at it. But driving in the countryside held some salutory lessons for me. The word SLOW painted on your side of the road means “Stop because you are about to have a head-on collision with a hardened countryside driver in a BMW doing 80 miles per hour”.
What happens is that two way traffic meets in a single lane bounded by the front walls of stone cottages, that is, “no where to go”! Occasionally the county officials have been very thoughtful and placed signs saying who should give way to whom. These are always placed on blind corners, so the lesson is “Always Stop”!
The laws of the roundabouts are also interesting. I’ve adopted the policy of staying in the outside lane, that way the BMW’s can drive at speed in a straight line through the roundabout, and miss me. It’s worked well so far. I’ve worked out that if I’m on the roundabout then that means all cars behind me can accelerate from 80 miles per hour, pass me on the right and beat all traffic approaching from the right. I haven’t seen it fail yet.
When my eyes haven’t been wide and straight ahead, I’ve been awestruck by the beauty of the landscape. Everything is brilliant green, the sky changes every 10 minute from clear blue to soft clouds, and then to rain, and back again. The sheep seem happy, and the villages are immaculately maintained. There is a lot of pride.
The list of other things we’ve done so far is: to forage for wood, but buy coal for our fire; two evening meals, in one pub only ; walk around Wroxton Manor which is now a college/university owned by Americans; walk in and around Warwick castle (1060-1800’s); climb bell tower of a local church dating from 11th century; see the birthplace of Shakespeare and his family (which died out in two generations); mass in Banbury church (it was heated, thank God); two plays in Oxford starring people we’ve seen in BBC TV dramas (and I recognised faces in the audience); visited the local sports centre (with heated pool). Our current problem is what to do in March because most castles and manors are closed til April. I’m sure we’ll think of something.
Hope life is okay-dokay in Oz, and that it stops raining in Sydney soon.
Markets and Trains
________________________________________
Editorial
Welcome to Newsletter Number 3. There are a few tales to tell so without further ado “On with the Motley” – which as you all know is “an incongruous mixture” according to the Oxford English Dictonary. The Editor
________________________________________
Firstly.
I was called a “dub-skelper” the other day which I think was a little unfair, what do you think? As you all know a dub-skelper is ‘One who makes his way with such expedition as not to regard the road he takes, whether it be clean or dirty.
________________________________________
That Ryme In the first newsletter we described a bit about Banbury and its cross and related that famous ryme. To refresh your memory.
“Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,
To see a fine lady ride on a white horse.
With rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes,
She will have music wherever she goes”.
We can now put you out of your misery, the cock-horse is a fifth horse that was used to help pull a “coach and four” on ardous journeys.
________________________________________
Nigel, the Postman
Those of you that receive your newsletter by post, do so courtesy of Nigel. He is an interesting fellow , he is our postman. He starts work at 4:45am in Banbury at the Banbury Mail Office. He then sets off with the mail to Barford St Michael. He delivers our mail in all weathers (by the way, we get all weathers here in England) . You would surely recognise him, he has a big red post van. He also has only one tooth just off centre in the upper gum. When, in all weathers, he has delivered our mail (6 days a week) he goes back to Banbury around lunchtime with the post from all our two post-boxes. The outgoing mail is taken by van, at about 1 pm to Cowley, Oxford where it is sorted by machine and sent to all parts of the globe (again in all weathers). Just thought you would like to know!
________________________________________
The Elusive Job
You may remember that I told you in the last newsletter that I was ‘back to the Internet for a job. Well, a job has emerged and I am working in the City (of London) for a Lloyd’s re-insurer. They take on large risks like hurricanes etc. and then organise to spread the risk with other insurers.
________________________________________
To boldly go where almost everybody has gone before.
Has it ever struck you as odd? Whenever the Starship Enterprise, in stardate 97031, goes to discover new uncharted land where no man has gone before, there is always someone there!
Talking about journeys reminds me to relate to you the experience of my journey to the office where I work in London.
I leave the cottage at Barford St Michael (pop. 573 including Judy and I, you will remember) at 6:20am. The new lambs are even having lamb races at this hour of the day. A lamb race is where a few lambs get together in a huddle and suddenly run up hill at a great pace. Suddenly they all bleat and stop. If ever you are approached by a bookmaker like ‘Honest Charlie Smith’ – you could do worse than put your shirt on number 212 – he has a fine set of sturdy legs. In a few weeks he will be unbeatable. It seems that if you are a farmer growing sheep there is not much time for consulting the ‘1001 Names for a baby sheep’. They do not get names like Elsie and Bert rather numbers painted on their back, this is the sequence in which they were born. The Mum gets the same number. By the way twins and triplets all get the same numbers not, as you would expect, 345-1 and 345-2 etc.
The numbering system, I suspect, is to help new-born lambs find their Mothers when they get lost or after a race. I wonder if this means that sheep can count? I think they must be able to because they do spend a lot of time asleep, when they are not racing. As you know counting sheep sends you to sleep. The father sheep do not have their children’s numbers on their back as not only do they live in another field so cannot be contacted but also they would have to be as large as a shipping container to fit all their children’s numbers on.
Any road up, we must move on or I’ll miss the train. The drive to the station is usually uneventful, only four sets of traffic lights. I drive the Canary Yellow VW Camper van with left-hand drive. I think it is less obvious than the grey Nissan Bluebird.
I catch the 6:39am Chiltern Railways Clubman service to London Marylebone (pronounced Lun-nun Mar-lee-bone) calling at Bicester North (pronounced Bister Norf.), Haddenham and Thame (pronounced Tame) Parkway and London Marylebone with Refreshment Trolley service to your seat. It starts at Birmingham Snow Hill at 05:45am and is scheduled to arrive in London at 07:54am. The train announcers are always careful to add, “scheduled to arrive” so that they cannot be Court Marshalled for a train arriving late. No one seems to notice that they do not add “the same day”.
The Chiltern Railway system must be a kind of “First World” in the English Transport system. Certainly the London Underground is “Third World”. The train announcers on Chiltern Railways have attended speech elocution classes – you can actually understand the announcements and have a pretty good idea where the train is going. Whereas on the Underground, the announcements are something like, “smide durras” which translates to “Please mind the doors as we are about to close them so that the train can depart and go to the next station”. Another is “snext fur algate – termenate”. This is really “The next train to arrive at this station will travel to the Metropolitan line station at Aldgate where it will terminate. It would be sensible to get off there because if you don’t you will soon find yourself coming back here again or going to the depot at Moorgate”.
Back to Banbury station – platform 3. You, of course, do not stand just anywhere on the platform to wait for the train. After a week or so you can determine where there is a vacant spot. It’s not that there is a crowd or anything, 11 people catch the 6:39am Chiltern Railways Clubman service to etc. etc. It is that you must not stand in anyone else’s place. The 11 people always stand in exactly the same place each day of each week except holidays. That’s why you have to wait a couple of weeks or so because someone might be on holiday and a spot might not be really vacant. The Railway Company thoughtfully provides gender segregated waiting rooms with a view of the platform for those passengers who are waiting for a spot. The train driver, of course, understands the lore of ‘Train waiting’ and therefore stops the train in the same place every day so that every passenger is in front of a door when the train finally comes to rest. The exception was the day of ‘The Great Train Disaster of ‘78’. There was a new driver that day that had only been driving trains for about 5 years or so.
He stopped ‘4 feet too late’. A couple of the 11 people had fathers who were waiting on the platform that day. They retell the story for the benefit of those less fortunate. One of them is trying to get his dad to write a book about it. With a bit of research they hope to retell the tale of the ‘Unscheduled stop at Kings Sutton’ in ’63. This was the famous day when the trolley service ran out of those little wooden paddles that stir you tea and coffee. If the book gets written you will know about it as it will make the top ten non-fiction list without doubt.
Now to where did I get. Oh! Yes the train is standing at the platform and everyone is in front of a door. There is, of course, no rush as not only is this England – land of eternal politeness but there is no need as everyone has his or her own seat. You see everyone sits in the same seat in the train each day. Newcomers stand at the end of the carriage for the first few weeks until they are sure particular seats are really vacant.
It is right and proper that anyone already in the train looks down on any new passengers as an unnecessary intrusion into the carriage. The exception is those passengers who start at Birmingham – everyone looks down on a person from Birmingham.
It is a general rule that no one will talk to another passenger on the train – no matter how many times you travel with him or her. There are a few exceptions to this and a few travelling clubs have been formed. They are groups of people that are allowed to sit together and talk to each other. They are usually formed though some common bond or disaster i.e. Those who were present at the ‘The Great Train Disaster of ‘78’ or the ‘Unscheduled stop at Kings Sutton’ in ’63. Often sons or daughters will be allowed to join the club but they have to be sponsored – they will not be permitted to hold an opinion on anything for at least a year after joining. Topics of conversation are quite widespread – how much the train is early or late. The quality of the refreshment trolley is always good for 30 minutes or so. It is a requirement that the weather be discussed at great length, that is, only the weather in England, maybe Scotland or Wales if there is a natural disaster. The weather in Northern Ireland or any other foreign country is never discussed.
The train will eventually arrive at London Marylebone where everyone, in a very orderly manner, will get off and go about their business.
________________________________________
Correction
It has been brought to the Editors notice that there was an error in the directions to Barford St Michael published in newsletter #2. The publishing staff are indebted to Mr Jeremy Hopkins, a 53 year old Payroll Officer who lives with his wife Shirley and their 3 children at Wokingham in Berkshire. Jeremy pointed out that one does not go straight on at Somerton as there is a T junction in the village, one should go right (signed North Aston and Banbury). He assures us that the damages to his car is only superficial and that reports that it had to be written off were greatly exaggerated.
For this information Jeremy was awarded the 2nd prize of one night at Cherry Warren, the 1st prize that Jeremy had narrowly missed out on was to stay at home. Jeremy has courageously claimed his prize and when interviewed assured us that “I am over it now and the trembling has nearly gone”.
________________________________________
The Change of Plan
As you all may remember, our original plan was to tour Europe until Christmas and then fly home to Australia between Christmas and New Year. This would avoid catching any Millennium bugs that are flying about on New Year’s day. Well it seems that a lot of other people think it would be a great idea to fly to Australia in December by Gulf Air. Consequently, there are no seats available between November 24th and January 3rd 2000.
We have decided to fly to Singapore on November 24th and travel around Thailand and Malaysia and return home in December. We are going to try and get a passage on a container ship from Singapore to Darwin and then go overland from Darwin to Sydney.
It seems best to rent a container. It is difficult to find fully furnished containers so we will buy a couple of chairs in Singapore and a bit of carpet. Judy wants to wallpaper the container, I think that is silly and we should make do with a lick of paint. We will, I am sure, be able to get a cheap bed and a couple of bedside lights.
________________________________________
Come on girls
One of the features of England, (the weather from all the four seasons in one day), is the street market. Banbury has a good market on Thursday and Saturday, which sells clothes, books, household wares and fruit and vegetables. In London, the site of the old Spitalfields vegetable market now has an indoor touch-football pitch and some fast food and collectors stalls.
One of the most famous markets in London must be Petticoat Lane in the East End. There is no such place as Petticoat Lane on the map, the main area of the Sunday market is the length of Middlesex street. Sunday is when the tourist souvenir stalls appear and the market extends up to Frying Pan Alley – you known the one – it is now an Indian Quarter with some interesting shops selling blow-your-head-off pickles and spices.Petticoat lane market is active everyday but during the week it only fills Wentworth Street. The stalls and shops that line the streets in this area are mostly filled with clothes and material. There are a few other stalls. One of my favourites is the fruit and veg stall. The patter of the owner is always the same. “Come on girls, where you like, 3 pound a pound on the bananas.” None of the stalls are metric so I am not sure if you pay £3 and get 1lb weight of bananas or you pay £1 and get 3lb of bananas. I suppose the girls understand.
My bargain this week was from “Honest Joe Brown”. He has run a stall on the market for 48 years – he took over a fruit and veg stall from his Dad. I bought 2 boxes of Nestles Chocolates for £2.50, I tried to get them cheaper but to no avail. They are, I think, hazelnuts. The printing on the box is all in Rumanian or Hungarian, they are old Christmas stock as there is holly and 3 wise men on the lid. I am not sure of the use by date because the date seems to be based on some other calendar than our Gregorian version.
Did you know that we have Julius Caesar and Pope Gregory X111 to thank for our present calendar. Julius Caesar, known at school as “Poofter hairy legs ”(See Note below), was made dictator for life in 44BC and before he could do much dictating, was assassinated the same year. He did a major overhaul of the calendar then in use changing from a lunar to a solar year. It was a move widely supported by business in general and the company Hallus Markus card and calendar makers in particular. Good old Julius got his adding up wrong and made a mistake with the length of the year by about 11 minutes.
These extra minutes added up and Pope Gregory X111 in 1582 was worried about Easter being celebrated later than it should have been, by this time 11 days late. Catholic countries dropped 10 days from the calendar in that year.
The government of England decided to pause for thought. This they did for 170 years and sprang into action in 1752. Henry Pelham, the Prime Minister of the day, decided that he would just miss 11 days out so everyone in England went to bed on September 2nd and got up on the 16th.
A bit of a bummer if you had booked your week’s holiday by the sea from September 4th to 11th. You can bet that good old Henry and his mates all went in June.
Note: This is a generally supported view as his full name was Gaius Julius Caesar. Gaius was his first name and his family name was Julius (translating to Hairy)– Caesar was that branch of the Julius family. At school with a name of Gaius Julius – Gay Hairy he would naturally be known by the other children as Poofter Hairy Legs. QED
Some thoughts
Tourist exam
Congratulations to Karen Thong (nee Hunt) for passing her tourist exam. Greg and Karen spent a week in London last month being tourists. Greg did cheat and went to work during the day. He will have to resit his exam. Karen dropped marks on the practical. She nearly failed on the London underground – she wanted to go west but got on an eastbound train. She only dropped 5 marks though as she realised after one station and got off. The highlight of her practical was when she caught a bus one stop from the terminus, was ordered off the bus by the driver after sitting at the terminus unaware that the bus had terminated. She got off, went round the corner to go back again and caught the same bus! It was rumored that the driver was going for the ‘most passengers abused in one day award’. She gained extra marks by being a ‘real tourist’ and sat on the pavement outside the Tower of London. This is never done by a native only a tourist.
It was good to see both Karen and Greg who soaked up some Cotswold villages and Blenheim Palace with us. They continued their holiday in France and Italy.
The cost of living
Older citizens, like myself, are often heard complaining about the increasing cost of living and things not being what they used to be. Well, in England at least, it is not all bad news.
Looking at prices that were current in 1899.
Item Cost in 1899 1999 Equivalent Actual 1999
The average weekly wage £4 6s 2d £265.90 £384.50
Packet of cigarettes 5s 0d £14.40 £3.84
Hovis loaf of bread 4d £0.95 £0.63
But
Top price Arsenal football club season £1 0s 0d £57.50 £868.50
Pint of Beer 1d £0.24 £1.90
Interestingly, some brand names have survived since 1899, notably Heinz (Baked Bean fame), Hovis, Kodak and Jacob’s Cream Crackers.
Travel news.
Judy and I have finalised our plans to go to Europe. Judy has just finished work and by the time you read this I will have finished work, and we will be in Europe. We booked the cross-channel ferry for Tuesday August 3rd to France. Our plans have not essentially changed as we are spending a couple of weeks, approximately, in France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Czech Republic, Italy, French Riviera, Spain and western France. We plan to be back in England by Sunday 7th November. Judy has an open day to attend in a hospital on Tuesday 9th November.
Some observations upon the English, their habits and customs from the perspective of a visitor.
That is how the Victorians would describe this little piece in the Strand Magazine at the turn of the century.
The English are inordinately proud of their language. The Oxford English dictionary (OED) lists some 500,000 words. German can only muster 185,000 and French less than 100,000. The OED is the definitive authority on words in the English language. It took 70 years to fully compile and publish, (the estimate was 5 year by which time they had reached A to “Ant”). Essentially amateurs did the work and the contributor of the most words was an insane American army surgeon, Dr Minor, who murdered an Irish farmer. The research was carried out from his two roomed cell in Broadmoor Asylum for Criminal Lunatics near Crowthorne in Berkshire. He is the subject of an interesting book called “The Surgeon of Crowthorne”. The OED is set apart from other dictionaries in as much as it not only describes each word but also illustrates its usage by example. You can contribute, if you can find examples of “Get Real” used before 1987 or “The Full Monty” prior to 1986.
Sadly most of the English can only manage 8,000 words – if you doubt it read The Sun or Daily Mirror for proof. Interestingly India has more native speaking English than England has.
Moving to sport and specifically, the English performance in the recent Cricket World Cup. They were knocked out in the first round and Australia went on to win the Cup. It is a shame as the English invented the game 750 years ago. There seems a curious pride in trying but not winning. The national sport is Soccer and unfortunately the English team are suffering the same poor performance bug that is afflicting the cricket team. They look like not qualifying for the Euro 2000 European tournament. It’s a bit like the Aussie Rugby Union team being beaten by the Galapagos Islands. Soccer is big here, Manchester United have their own Satellite TV channel – presumably showing replays of Manchester United soccer matches.
The English are noted for their reserve. Judy and I were being tourists the other weekend and while traveling on the Underground met two Irish buskers. They were playing a violin and accordion. They got in the train – played for a few stations and got off again. When they had played their first number I, not unnaturally clapped, it was a merry jig as I recall. I was the only one out of about 50 – the violinist thanked me for being such a wonderful audience. Everyone else said nothing and looked at the floor.
And so to the French connection
I writing this looking out of our tent/annex to a clear blue sky in the heart of Picardie, some few kilometers north of Amiens on the river Somme at Bertangles (pronounced Bear-tong). There are memorials here to the Battle of the Somme (1916) when unfortunately 1.5 million lives were lost (from all sides). The red poppies in the fields also serve as a reminder.
We are camped in the grounds of the Chateau of the Clemond-Tonnet family who live here during the summer and early winter (for the hunting). It is a pleasant drive, from here, through farming country to Amiens, where stands one of the finest Gothic cathedrals in Europe. It was built, substantially, in the 13th century.
“So “, you ask yourself, “What have they seen”? Well, I answer, the French have what could be described as an unhealthy obsession with dogs. Their owners, often men, carry them and one has to be most careful not to step in “chein do’s”
There are some very sensible car parking laws, markings allow you to park half on the road and half on the pavement. At intersections with traffic lights, there are a set of signals at eye level and another set higher up on a pole, no excuses for not stopping at the lights. Roundabouts in France, have simple lane markings and are not cluttered up with writing all over the road describing the exit towns. By the time you have read the road, you have missed the lane and the turn.
Campings et Hunt
The camping experience has, to date, been very enjoyable. We have simple tastes with only full 240volts throughout the Canary Yellow VW Camper ( An ex Dutch Post Office van) and the tent annex – strip lights in both. We also have limited our entertainment to a short-wave radio and a compact stereo system with CD, Tape and AM/FM/LW radio. Please note no TV or VCR or DVD Player.
We have yet to master the fridge, each time we open it the entire contents fall out on to the floor. We have learnt to securely cork the wine so all is not lost.
Well, we must close now and go into the village and get some pain .
Barry and Judy
PS. Pain is French for Bread.
Stop Press
The committee of the Tour of Europe of the Family Hunt is under going a review. There are no firm details to hand but a spokes-person for the committee of the tour has said that Praha may be the last capital to visit and the French region of Alsace is under consideration. The committee is expected to vote in the next few days. We are receiving unconfirmed reports that the committee may be placing orders for more maps to help them make the decision and that the vote could take place in the Champagne district in a yellow camper van.
Contacting the family Hunt
We have had connection problems with the Mobile phone and its inbuilt modem. Thanks to Sebastian at Ericsson Help desk in Paris we have been able to get on line again.
The family Hunt may be contacted via e-mail. The only email address to use is bhunt@pinncomp.com.au. Beware of imitations!
This site is hosted in New York and forwarded to AOL (America On Line) which we pick up all around Europe with different local dial numbers in each country.
In the next issue
How a Yellow Camper van survived driving around the Place de la Concorde.
How Barry planned to walk up the Eiffel Tower but was too tired to queue up.
The day that an old lady carried a dog by its lead and tail across the Rue de Clincy and stopped the traffic.
The result of the Vote of the Committee of the Tour of Europe by the Family Hunt.
Europe is different
Sayings of a Navigator around Europe in a Camper Van
“This road/river/town/mountain/motorway/other geographical feature is not on the map”.
“OOH! Where the hell are we”? – Said in a one-way street in the centre of Paris and on numerous occasions before and since.
“I know I said left but I meant right/straight on.”
“Let’s ask where we are”.
“The roads on this map bear no relationship to those around here”
The Place de la Concorde and a Yellow Camper Van
When we first arrived in Paris, the driver, me – Barry, thought it would be fun to do a bit of sightseeing on the way to the hotel. It should be noted that this “cunning plan” to which “you must listen very carefully as I shall say this only once” was not a good one. I now know that the Arc de Triomphe is really a roundabout with 14 exits. I do not remember if there were lane markings as I was too scared to look at the road I was busy trying to miss other cars. I do know that the Place de la Concorde is also a giant roundabout with 10 exits, no lane markings and is cobbled into the bargain. By the time I had diced with the Arc I was ready for the Place. I observed how the French motorist navigates such large roundabouts. This I tried and it worked so I shall share it with you as you never known when it will come in useful. The steps are:
· Enter the traffic circle at a reasonable speed, certainly at least 15 kmh more than the speed limit.
· Ignore other road users.
· Toot the horn at regular intervals, say 2-3 second pauses between blasts
· Gaps materialise at the last moment.
· Focus on your exit and drive to it.
· Leave the traffic circle, triumphant and with concord.
The way to cross the road with a dog – in Paris, it seems.
The French male appears to like dogs; we have seen many a happy canine being carried around by its doting, male, owner. I think the prize must go to the lady in the Boulevard de Clichy spotted by one our reporters. She walked out into the traffic dragging a very reluctant fluffy dog. It clearly did not want to leave the comparative safety of the pavement although the French lady was adamant. The dog sat in the middle of the two traffic lanes amid horn-tooting motorists. The lady picked up one end of the dog by its collar and the other (rear) end by the tail and, strung in this fashion, removed the dog to the other pavement.
Camping in Germany is fun – because the Camp Commandant said so.
The following is not made up, these are exact quotes from printed camp instructions received along the way.
In order to make your stay as nice as possible we wish to give you some informations.
About the camp shop – You can also buy there marmelede, milk, other food as well as cool drinks and the newspaper and magazines, which go well with a proper breakfast.
Every coins for the shower, washing and drying machines are to be obtained here too. We will freeze your accumulator against charge ( ???? )
The restaurant On the menu you will find different dainties from kitchen and cellar.
Facilities The automatons in the kitchen for washing up does only works by using .50 dm coins. Between 11am and 5:30pm there is no free warm water available at the washing basins. Moreover, this water is not for other purpose than physical culture. If someone acts contrary to it, he will be asked to leave the site immediately.
Sufficient lavatories and washing-rooms are on Camp II. The washing-rooms and lavatories are closed from 12:00 hrs to 15:00hrs and from 10:30pm until 6:30am
Between 12:30 and 2pm and from 10:30 pm until 6:30pm driving is absolutely prohibited on the camping grounds.
Anyone found digging trenches will be asked to leave immediately.
Before leaving campers are asked to put their plots in order.
Parking in Germany is fun – because the Parking Commandant said so.
We had just negotiated a steep hill climb in Klaus the Kombi. (The Kombi in France was called Claudette and will be Heidi in Switzerland were the hills are alive with the sound of musik high on a hill with a lonely Goat herd)
Anyway, we were rather proud that we:
• Found the road to the car park behind the Old Castle in Heidelberg.
• Were still in one-piece driving on German Autobahns at a meagre 90 KPH.
When we were spotted by Rudolph the red nosed parking attendant. He shouted a string of quite unintelligible German at us and waved his arms about. We roughly translated it to be go round the other way this is the “ausfahrt” and not the “eingang”. Neither entry nor exits were marked. Being a patient and polite foreign tourist I complied with his commands. I swung around and parked about 10 degrees off parallel to the white line marking the parking space. I hopped out of the van with a cheery “Guten Tag” and offered my 2 DM coin to pay. This was not acceptable, the coin was ignored and I was told in words and actions to straighten the van before a payment was accepted. You might say at this point I did make a slight mistake, in straightening the van I nearly ran Rudolph over. He did let me know that he was there and that I had to move forward and align the front of the van with the other cars. This I did and then payment was accepted, a ticket was hand written, one portion torn off and lodged under the drivers windscreen wiper and the other portion was ceremoniously handed to me.
Some happy Dutch campers who were seen smiling and waving at us after the event watched the whole episode.
How to tell the nationality of a camper.
These comments are made after painstaking scientific observations. I am considering publishing a short pamphlet so that others may be able to make full use of my information. All you have to do is to look at the electric cable from the power stand to the tent or van.
• A German’s power cable will be rated so that, if required, it could light a small Bavarian town. It will go in straight lines from the power pole to the van – any angles will be perfect right angles.
• A Spaniard’s cable will be lighting flex with no power point on the end. The bare wire will be pushed into the power socket and held there with matchsticks.
• An Australian’s cable will be average in size, have a proper plug on it and thrown on the ground in a heap.
• The English power cable is bright orange with blue fittings – only one company makes them and every happy camper has one.
• A Frenchman’s cable does not exist – they are so romantic that they use candles.
Gourmet corner
A few nights ago I created a wholly new dish, I thought long and hard about what to call it and then inspiration struck, so here is Orange Treacle surprise. Perhaps if I give you the recipe you may like to try it.
1) Take 5 Oranges bought in Paris, well past their prime. Peel, and cut out the bad bits. Place in a saucepan.
2) Add crystallized Golden Syrup – use a sturdy spoon to scrape it from the tin. Discard any rust.
3) Cut up sweet Brioche bread rolls- bought in Epernay – discard any with signs of mould.
4) Put the Oranges and Golden Syrup into a saucepan. When boiling – stir vigorously until an even consistency.
5) Pour the Orange sauce over the Brioche and serve immediately.
This mixture promotes good health and acts as a mild laxative for those who do not have a lead lined stomach.
And a hint for the unwise….
Always buy the best Kirshwasser – A Cherry clear alcoholic drink made from Cherries – it is generally the same strength as best Vodka. The cheap variety has the following effects on the drinker. This is after one glass !!
• At the time of drinking the throat goes numb.
• The voice is lost for a few minutes.
• The fun bit – when the drinker goes from a vertical position to horizontal i.e. to lie down in bed. The world starts to revolve. Depending upon the position of the head the world may revolve from side to side or end over end. It does stop after about 15 seconds.
• The effects only last for 3 days after the single drink.
For Sale
A near new bottle of cheap Kirshwasser – only one glass drunk. Any reasonable offer accepted.
The tour continues….
You may remember from the last newsletter that the committee of the Tour of Europe of the Family Hunt have been reviewing the tour itinerary. I am pleased to be able to announce that Switzerland, Austria and the Czech Republic will be visited in that order. “The committee will meet again in the Czech Republic to decide further tour arrangements”, a spokes-person said when interviewed.
Contacting the family Hunt
The family Hunt may be contacted via e-mail. The only email address to use is bhunt@pinncomp.com.au. Beware of imitations!
This site is hosted in New York and forwarded to AOL (America On Line) which we pick up all around Europe with different local dial numbers in each country.
In the next issue
• How to be told off for parking in the wrong spot for 5 minutes and not understand a word of it.
• The Hypnotic effect of the self-cleaning, revolving, toilet seat. Do you know where it is?
And more seriously….
• The first book, of a notable size, printed with a printing press, who did it and where there are two copies. Do any of you know?
Praha wanderings
Editorial
I am pleased to tell you that the tour continues with great success. The countries of Switzerland, Austria and the Czech Republic have been visited. The committee of the Tour of Europe of the Family Hunt have reached a decision about the itinerary for the rest of the Grand Tour. It was decided by a narrow vote that there should be an “unseemly dash” from the Czech Republic for the warmer climate of Spain where the tour will rest, and consume food and wine. After, hopefully, sufficient rest our loins will be girded for the drive through France to the ferry back to England. An alternative may be to take a shorter drive to Northern Spain – Santander – and a longer ferry of 24hours to Plymouth England.
Further sayings of a Navigator around Europe in a Camper Van
“I am not staying in this campsite – I would rather be strung up by my ankles and wrists”.
NB We had just seen the showers and a dog the size of a large racehorse was menacing us. There was also an overpowering smell of urine.
“I know we are on the right road, the sign said “Hredvice” – look there is the railway, and that stream is on the correct side of the road – isn’t this pretty”
NB Why is it so that 17 seconds after this conversation we were nearly flattened by a 97 tonne truck full of gravel. We were driving through a quarry owned by the Hredvice Gravel Co Ltd
Advice on catching a bus at midnight in Praha
This is from personal experience – it should be committed to memory.
Don’t.
The reasons for this are:
· The bus will be going the wrong way.
· The bus will be an express that does not stop for miles.
· When you press the bell to stop the bus – twice – when you think the driver has not heard – the bus will stop.
· The driver will abuse you for ringing the bell – the other passengers will look at you as if you are spies.
· As a punishment the driver will not make you get off – he will make you stay on.
· It is costly to get a taxi home when the bus does finally stop.
· It causes family arguments as to whose “silly idea it was”.
Checking in at a campsite
Whenever you check in at a campsite for the night you have to present a passport and the number of it is entered on a form. We always keep our passport locked away so I always offer my NSW driving license. It has a picture and a number and none of the European governments have caught up with me to complain – so far. The campsite at Chesky Budevoice had an extra box on their form.
To digress, Cesky Budejovice (pronounced Bud-ee-joe-vitza) is the real home of Budweiser beer, which is OK but after extensive research I have to say that I prefer “Eggenburg” to Budweiser.
Anyway, an extra box on the form was for a profession. After studying the license for a moment the Czech receptionist confidently wrote “Donor” – NSW driving licenses indicate if the holder wishes to donate bits of them in case of an accident. Those of you that have seen more or less of my body will know that I could not make a living out of selling bits of it.
The driver went wrong in Praha when…
I had just pulled away from a set of traffic lights. I veered to the left into what I thought was my lane. The road surface was suddenly made up of railway sleepers. All the other cars were in the lane next to me. I was going down the tram tracks. Luckily there was an off ramp (probably for foreign tourists), which I smartly took.
Further stories about the navigator…
We visited friends 20 km south of Praha and stayed at a Pension over-night. We planned a long drive of over 600 km in one day to Baden-Baden on the edge of the Black Forest in southern Germany. The head of the navigation department was on duty that day and was, admittedly, suffering from a head cold. Despite maps being open on the correct page, we drove for 45 minutes in the wrong direction and when this was realised the head navigator blamed the driver and took to her sleeping bag, in the rear of the van and donned a beanie hat completely covering her face. It was a cold day, 13C and colder in the passenger seat with the wind/draught chill factor from the air vents that are jammed open.
There were some alarming moments at the Czech border when I gave the guard two passports and pointed to the beanie clad refugee in the back. Three guards looked at the passport and then in the back of the van. Eventually they waved me through.
I only missed one motorway turn and did a 3km backtrack. I travelled as closely as I wanted to the trucks in front and went past meaningful road signs at lightening speed. I listened to all the cassette tapes I wanted to and arrived, safely at the campsite at Baden-Baden at 6:30pm. The only comment that was made was when we turned into the camp gates and a gnome-like figure sat up and said “I wouldn’t have come here – I would have gone to the one 20 km back”
Navigators!!!
As promised…
In the last issue I promised to tell you about the the Hypnotic effect of the self-cleaning, revolving, toilet seat. Did any of you guess where it is? Well the answer is at the McDonalds in Zurich. Another correct answer is the Ladies at the zoo in Innsbruck.
The process is as follows. When the toilet has been flushed, an arm extends over the seat, squirts some disinfectant, and the seat revolves whilst the arm cleans. As this takes about 5 minutes, you should allow for extra time in the toilet. If you are over fifty then inform your partner that you may be gone some time. If not she is likely to get the manager and try to persuade him to go and see if you are OK. This causes embarrassment to all.
The first book, of a notable size, printed with a printing press, who did it and where there are two copies? Well, it was, of course, the Gutenberg Bible printed at Mainz on the Rhine in Germany. The copies of his bible are in perfect condition and on display in the museum there.
Contacting the family Hunt
The family Hunt may be contacted via e-mail. The only email address to use is bhunt@pinncomp.com.au. Beware of imitations!
This site is hosted in New York and forwarded to AOL (America On Line), which we pick up all around Europe with different local dial numbers in each country.
The Navigator speaks
Editorial
Do I hear cries of “Where are they” or “Thank goodness no more of those silly newsletters”? Well all your worst fears have come true. We are alive and well and here is another one of those silly newsletters. A bumper issue to boot! There has been a bit of a delay as things in the Travelling Hunt Household have been a bit hectic of late. Here is a thumbnail sketch of “where we are at”.
We made our “unseemly dash” from the Czech Republic to southern Spain; we spent a couple of weeks at the beach of Albir, 15 minutes walk from Altea on the Costa Blanca. The navigator has just added, “tell them we were on the bumpy bit of the east coast of Spain, the bit that sticks out” – See what I have to put up with! This was to get warm again after Prague and to do much “loin girding” ready for an English November.
After leaving Albir we drove the 480 km to Madrid via Alicante. At Madrid, among other things we voted in the Referendum. Next stop was Cilleruelo; the circumstances surrounding “The Miracle of Cilleruelo” appear in detail in this newsletter. We were now a leisurely drive of 70 kms from Santander and the ferry from this northern Spanish town to Plymouth, England.
The navigator was able to rest (See 1 below) for the whole 24 hours that the ferry took to get to England; the ship had its own navigator. This was good as Judy only really does land and not sea.
1 I use the word “rest” rather loosely as Judy was seasick for 18 of the 24 hours. I think I did hear her say at one point that the sea trip was actually worse than my driving.
We spent nearly 3 weeks with my long-suffering mother, Dorothy in Earley near Reading in Berkshire. I don’t mean long-suffering in terms of age, although she is nearly 91, but rather in terms of the fact that we turned her home into a giant warehouse full of our van and suitcase contents. I know that she did not believe me when I said that the house would be tidy again, one day. It was, about 10 minutes before the taxi to the airport arrived.
We had a good flight to Singapore via Bahrain and found the Boon Wah Hotel in the Little India area. You can read about “The narrow escape at the Slim Lim Square” further on.
This brings us to the present, sat by the pool at the Klebang Beach Resort at Melaka in Malaysia.
There are rumblings from the Navigator to “tell all” about the trip and let you know what “really” happened. The driver may never be able to show his face in England or Australia again! Things such as the true story behind the “Beanie Clad Navigator smuggled into Germany from the Czech Republic”. Worse still, who made the German in his Mercedes-Benz white with fear? It is rumoured that the “News of the World” – a newspaper of a similar quality to the US “National Enquirer” are bidding for the serial rights when the Navigator reveals all.
The Navigator’s Reply
I feel I have been much maligned, in all the newsletters, but particularly in the last. I understand the importance of poetic licence in achieving an effect, AND, to give Barry credit he has left out the really unsavoury episodes of verbal violence between us. However, I feel strongly that it needs to be said that I am an excellent navigator (“This is going to hurt me more than it is you” – Yes, she is quite right, Ed.), and when I concentrate I can deliver us to within a few metres of our agreed destination whether we have travelled a few kilometres or a few hundred kilometres! Barry calls it good guesswork but, in fact, using a cunning combination of fact, deduction and intuition I get us to our destination e.g. by using gross geographical features like “bumpy bits” combined with a map to decide (guess) if we are going north or south.
Now to the episode of the “beanie-clad gnome”. That morning, yes the map book was open but the driver failed to mention that he took off before I had shut the passenger door, before I had put on my seatbelt, and at a speed I can only describe as “assertive”. Also I get very carsick while reading in the van (very useful in a navigator! Ed.), especially at speed. As we approached the unsigned fork in the road I was deciding whether to be really ill or to pretend that things could be worse and that things would be OK if I think they’ll be OK. I was very preoccupied with these thoughts but I also knew we had a long way to go that day. In reality it was all too much, so I guessed that the left fork was in the correct general direction, but I was wrong (see lesson #1 in advanced navigation below). C’est la vie.
Lastly, I didn’t condemn the choice of campsite that day. In reality I was racked with guilt at having slept/read/eaten my way through the 600+ kms and was worried that Barry had accidentally gone to the wrong campsite since I thought he was aiming for one 20km to the east. Of course at that moment any comment from me was going to be rewarded with a mad-attack, but this I can overlook.
Lessons in Advanced Navigation
• When presented with an unsigned fork in the road always choose the road with the most tyre rubber on it, or with the most gravel heaped on the side, as this indicates usage. Most of the traffic is not going to be using a dead end road (reference: Praha).
• Even though you may think you are approaching the ‘correct’ side of a large motorway, it is possible to in fact be on the ‘wrong’ side. When this happens, try driving over/under the motorway and then look for a 360 degree turn back under/over the motorway for a ‘correct’ merge using a completely different side road (reference: Heidleberg).
• It is possible, with the aid of a magnifying glass, to guess the correct approach and exit when two six lane motorways intersect and split in several directions. Some maps try to provide this information, albeit by printing roads of less than two millimetres width.
• Always carry a compass, whether on foot or in a car. Please note, the compass only works when the carrier is stationary!
The Best of Camping
Most Bazaar Example of Germany Nakedness – Very overweight older lady in a tiny bikini perched on a bicycle, pedalling around the campsite; her tiny triangular boobs resting naturally on the huge folds of her bare stomach. But she seemed very happy, which is the main thing when camping.
Most Interesting Camper’s Companion – The black Siamese-like cat in a tent comes second but a large friendly talking cockatoo comes first.
Best Thing about Camping/Travelling Around – Never paying more than $3 AUD for a bottle of local wine/champagne. Our discerning retired neighbours at Albir say they pay $1.20 per bottle for local Spanish wine.
Most Reliable Thing – Our gas stove although I should say the Kombi van is, but that may be tempting fate.
Most Useful Thing – The four inch wide piece of rectangular foam that fills the gap when we fold down the seat to make our mattress. This increases our chances of sleeping from 0% to about 50%.
Best Luxury – A cold fridge, although it runs on electricity (which has been available at all campsites so far) from which we’ve made some excellent meals – even better than the ones at home.
Most Embarrassing Thing – Having worn Nike tennis shoes every day. Being members of the Tourist Class has encouraged this behaviour.
Most Useful Purchase – The annex/tent which clips onto the Kombi. It has tripled our living space, and makes us look almost as big as the $200,000 campervans around us.
Thing Most Dreaded – Another poor night’s sleep, although these are self-limiting as exhaustion usually takes over after a few days.
Thing Most Missed – Veging-out in front of the TV or at the movies. We’ve seen three movies in twelve weeks and no TV or cable. The BBS World Service on the shortwave radio is excellent though and has kept us in touch.
Biggest Miracle – We’ve drunk the local water and stored and cooked raw food but haven’t had any stomach trouble. Can’t say the same for the local spirits. Barry has discovered that they make him violently ill after just one glass – the van spins end to end AND sideways, a lot like a crocodile’s death roll. (Who are you calling a crocodile, Ed.)
Thing Most Envy – No not the air-conditioned multi-bunked enormous modern campervans, but rather the hanging space to put a fluffy terry-towelling bath robe that can be worn to the ablutions block, keeps you warm and dries you all in one go.
Most Taken for Granted – A toilet seat. We have tried to be inventive when faced with such problems but there really is no solution to this one when you have to sit down. (Have you ever tried to stand on a Western style toilet as if it was at ground level?) Barry spotted a couple of dozen second-hand toilet seats in a street market around this time (Valencia, Spain) and we wondered where we’d store it in the van.
(Matthew said we could make money selling Email time on our laptop/mobile phone modem. I think toilet seats are a better bet Ed.)
So, from the above you can guess the profile of your standard camper.
Even more further sayings of a Navigator around Europe in a Camper Van
“This map is printed in the wrong language”.
NB The signpost was in Catalan (a Spanish dialect) and our map was in Spanish.
The Miracle at Cilleruelo
Miracles do happen. Picture this scene. It was a windy Saturday afternoon and we were travelling north, in Spain, about 70kms from Santander on the north Spanish coast. Judy and I had decided to stay the night at a rural casa (Farm-house) – we had picked one from our Farmhouse guidebook written entirely in Spanish. Our choice was 12kms from the main road down a single lane track. It took two goes to find it when we got to the village. The first was a very helpful Spanish farmer who unfortunately talked at 90 miles per hour and the one thing we understood was that it was beyond the church. The second was a young lady who spoke excellent English and said “Over there”. We had parked opposite our farmhouse.
We went in – it was cold and windy outside – Judy spotted the satellite dish on the roof so, with 20 minutes to go before the kick-off of the South Africa v Australia Rugby Union semi-final we thought that we had made it. I knew that British Eurosport were broadcasting the match live. There was a fire in the front room where the TV was so all was looking good. There was no proprietor. We could make no one hear. I thought of turning on the set and waiting for some one to appear. A couple came in who spoke little English and it turned out they were guests. Then the proprietor arrived. The accommodation was all taken. There was no room at the inn. I toyed with the idea of asking him to let us watch the match but he did not speak English and Spain had been knocked out of the cup so I decided against it.
He kindly phoned a hostel back on the main road and gave us directions how to find it. We found it with no trouble and booked in. Our room was stark with one light bulb and a TV – all local channels and no Satellite!
It was by now 5pm and the match had been on an hour. Judy turned on the TV and flicked through the channels. They all seemed to be showing dubbed American soaps or ads. Judy left it on Spain’s TV2. You can guess how we felt when after the ads came a picture of the Australian team running on to the pitch at Twickenham for the second half of the semi- final. The caption “Directo from Twickenham” was so so good to see.
So, miracles do happen!
TV2 showed the rest of the match including the extra time. The look on the face of Stephen Larkham was wonderful when he scored the drop goal from 48 meters, something he has never done before. It broke the deadlock and after another penalty Australia was through to the final. The commentary was all in Spanish and after that kick every other word was Larkam. The commentator called him “El Hombre” – The Man.
We were not so lucky on the following day when France did the unthinkable and beat the All Blacks in the other semi-final. There was a motorcycle race from Buenos Aires and a Spaniard won the World Championship so there was no Rugby – I think they interviewed all his relatives, his kindergarten teacher and showed all his previous races.
Ten days later on our way into London by train we spotted an All Black flag at half mast.
The joke …
A priest had just moved into a new parish. His housekeeper lost no time in telling him that his roof leaked and his house needed repainting. The priest was quick to point out to his housekeeper they were a team and that she should say “our”.
The message was learnt as a couple of weeks later when the priest was entertaining the bishop the housekeeper burst in and cried “Father, Father, there is a mouse in OUR bedroom under OUR bed”!!
© The Readers Digest – May 1983
From the New Straits Times in Kuala Lumpur
In a Rome laundry – Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
On a Japanese hotel air-conditioner – Cooles and Heates If you want just condition of warm in your room – please control yourself.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office. – We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In the office of a Roman doctor – Specialist in women and other diseases.
And from the prayers of children
Dear God: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones why not just keep the ones you have now?
Dear God: I did not think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made last Tuesday. That was cool.
Dear God: Thank you for my baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy.
Cabin trunks and other lethal weapons Part 1
The trunk is purchased and sent ….
How many times have you heard parents say that their children have caused them concern and worry? Maybe you have said it yourself? It seems that I unwittingly turned the tables on my son, Matthew and caused him no end of trouble. I sent him a cabin trunk.
I must say that while Matthew had the major share of worry, I had some too.
I should first fill you in on the background. Judy can travel light, I cannot. For me, any trip greater than one week demands at least one suitcase of gadgets. Did I hear someone at the back say ‘toys’?
Well one needs a laptop computer, a still camera, a video camera, film and tapes for same, a short-wave radio, a regular AM-FM radio, Personal CD-Player, cassette tape player. Of course, you need the batteries and power packs for the above. Then there are the CD’s audio and computer plus tape cassettes. Oh! I forgot the multi system VCR (Judy said no to a TV – most unreasonable I thought). So when we left Australia in Jan 99 we only have 4 suitcases and a few handbags but by August our travelling luggage had grown to 7 suitcases. (The rest of our gear we were leaving in England in my mother’s roof – a couple of dozen boxes).
I came up with the bright idea of shipping home stuff not needed in a cabin trunk. With ruthless efficiency I surveyed the cabin trunk market. The best buy was in Middlesex Street (Petticoat Lane in London’s East End). For some reason that I cannot now recall I decided to buy big. Just how big will soon become apparent.
The purchase was made one Friday evening – it was a short walk from the office in Aldgate were I worked to ‘Honest Bob’s Travel Baggage Enterprise Ltd’ Although the trunk was empty it was surprisingly unmanageable – this should have sounded a warning but it did not. On end it came nearly up to my shoulder. Honest Bob’s delivery boy helped me carry it to the tube station at Liverpool Street. It was by this time peak rush hour – 5:30pm. I had to travel to Hanger Lane near Wembley in north London where Judy was going to meet me for Phase 2 of the journey home.
Just as I approached the ticket barrier, two London Transport Policemen stopped me with ‘Hello, Hello, Hello what have we here then, where do you think you are going with that, Sir’. **This I thought was rather obvious two feet from the ticket barrier.
** This is one of the first phrases taught in the language course to new recruits.
However, I humoured them. ‘On a train’, said I. Oh! No you’re not, Sir – at this time anyway’. Have you noticed how polite police get when they are about to arrest you? In the event, they did not arrest me; they checked the trunk to see that I was not hiding a family and trying to evade paying their fare. They then said they would impound the trunk for an hour until the rush hour had eased when I could continue. I did get to Hanger Lane where Judy met me on the platform and we carried the trunk to the car and got home to Banbury. Little did I known, sitting in my cell for an hour at Liverpool Street that this was the easy bit!
I worked out a cunning plan that we should pack our unwanted clothes etc. into two suitcases and then put them into the trunk along with the VCR and pad the whole thing with other clothes. This worked to a degree, the only slight drawback was that when packed the trunk was immovable. Luckily I had the foresight to pack the trunk downstairs in the Lounge of the cottage. Unfortunately we only had one day to come up with a second cunning plan to get the trunk out of the cottage and into the Kombi van. I knew the Kombi could take it as we had had the axle strengthened just in case. Time was not on our side but we had been in tighter situations than this.
Luckily we had only recently been to Stonehenge. Have you ever been to Stonehenge? It lies north of Salisbury on Salisbury Plain in Wiltshire, England. The henge was thought to be an early observatory and place of worship constructed very precisely. It is a stone circle built around 2000BC. It has two rings of massive stones, uprights with crossbeams or lintels also made of stone. Each stone in the outer ring weighs in the order of 50 tons. These stones came from Marlborough Downs 20 miles north of the site and unfortunately the company that won the contract to build it ‘The Druid Construction Co Inc’ did not own a truck large enough to transport the stones. They did however have a large workforce so they got plenty of round tree trunks and rolled each stone the required 20 miles. It the Druids could do it then so could we. With the help of the Acting Postmaster of Barford St. Michael (pop 573 including Judy and I) we rolled the trunk, not on tree trunks but a couple of mini trolleys out of the cottage and up to the van.
The next trunk event takes place at Heathrow, London Airport where we are going to drop off the trunk to be sent by sea to Australia. Judy, feeling a little jaded after the packing, loading and trip to London elected to stand shotgun and guard the van in the car park. All our English possessions plus Matt and Mandy ironing board were in the van at this point. This was fine – it should be easy to get help to unload the trunk and then all I had to do was pay and that was it. Little did I know?
We have bought numerous padlocks to supplement the single lock on the trunk itself. Picture the scene, we have an extremely heavy trunk balancing on an elderly cousin of the supermarket trolley that has one wheel that always wants to go in a different direction to the other three. I arrived at the unaccompanied baggage counter. The first hurdle is that the trunk has to be X-rayed prior to acceptance. The x-ray machine is too small. I have to unpack the trunk in front of the counter and each suitcase is x-rayed. All the clothes used as packing have to be x-rayed too. I had clothes and suitcases everywhere. What took 4 days of careful packing was unpacked in 58 seconds. Somehow all was eventually re-packed restored to order. Then the magic words, “This is only receivein’ ‘ere, gov”; I had to find another counter in the next terminal building to fill out the paperwork. I found the other counter and was promptly told that my passport was required; I went back to the van, Judy was snoring sweetly.
I took exception to this. Judy then quite rightly pointed out whose silly idea it was to buy such a big trunk and she was going back to sleep. I found my passport, found the counter and paid for the transportation right to the door in Bondi Road; this would of course save Matthew no end of trouble at the other end. I waved goodbye to the trunk. It had been a good friend for some weeks. My troubles were over, Matthews started 12 weeks later.
Part 2 – The receiving of the trunk in Sydney …
The trunk arrived in Sydney without mishap; the shipping company cleared it through customs and phoned Matthew for details of delivery. Then the fun started, the courier company wanted to deliver it to 130 Bondi Road but they would only do it between 9am and 5pm Monday to Friday. Matthew and Mandy do 10 to 12 hour days so would not be at home to receive it. After much discussion it was arranged that the courier company would deliver it to Matthew’s office in the shared loading dock. Matthew planned to pop it in the back of his Holden Astra. Remember at this point Matthew had not seen the size of the trunk. When the truck arrived it was the only item on board their largest van. It took three people to unload the trunk onto the ground. Although Matthew has not admitted it I am sure at this point he said some fairly uncomplimentary things about his dear old Dad.
He had to borrow the company 4 wheel drive to get the trunk to Bondi. This he did and with help unloaded it onto our driveway. Our unit is on the first floor so there was no way that the trunk would go up to the flat without a crane. Matthew realised that I had said that there were two suitcases and a box with the VCR in it. So it was simple to open the trunk and carry the items up separately. He did not bargain on the Barry factor. You see unfortunately I had delayed sending Matthew the keys to the lock and padlocks. Well I was on holiday and it slipped my mind, the keys did arrive, 3 days after the trunk was opened with bolt cutters.
It is lucky that Matthew is of a very resilient character and is not easily upset, unless you send him a trunk it would seem!
PS Only kidding, Matthew thank goodness saw the funny side of it. He has got used to his Dad’s strange ways.
The narrow escape at Slim Lim Square
We spent four days in Singapore – it is a very well organised place. All the buses are air-conditioned – a must in the 32deg heat and the wet. At night it is still very humid and 24deg. Singapore is very highly regulated – there are so many punishments for wrongdoing. Some of the more interesting ones are – $500 for leaving Singapore in a Singapore car with less than three quarters of a tank of fuel. This stops drivers hopping into Malaysia for petrol. $1000 for littering the streets and death for drug trafficking.
I found a shopping mall with 3 floors of computer stores about 5 minutes walk from the hotel. I could not resist the incredibly cheap software. I bought 3 programs for $20 on Saturday morning. We were watching the TV news on Saturday night and the police raided the software store during the afternoon and 15 people were arrested!
Contacting the family Hunt
The family Hunt may be contacted via e-mail. The only email address to use is bhunt@pinncomp.com.au. Beware of imitations!
This site is hosted in New York and forwarded to AOL (America On Line), which we pick up all around Asia with different local dial numbers in each country.
The End
Editorial
Judy and I would like to wish all our faithful followers a Happy New Millennium. The end of the tour is in sight also. We return home to Sydney on December 30th. What a year it has been, unique and unforgettable. We have documented some of our Asian experiences below as well as doing a summary of the European bit.
The Old Chinese proverb
“Always read train ticket in foreign country”.
This, as it turned out was for us very sound advice. We should have taken it. This little adventure happened in Kuala Lumpur where we stayed in a hotel on Sultan Ismail Street. This hotel is to the north of the city centre and the closest railway station is on the Star railway line. We wanted to go and see the Orchid and Hibiscus parks that are to the south west of the city centre.
After consulting the city map we set off. We had to go two stations to Masjid Jamek where we were to change on to the other, Putra railway system.
I have always had an affinity with trains; I was brought up with a railway line at the bottom of our garden. I have an enduring habit that persists to this day of always checking the driver of the train. This probably goes back many years to the age of steam. When I went to London for the day from Reading station to Paddington, by steam train, I was taught to go and thank the driver for a safe trip. Old habits die hard.
Anyway, I checked the driver of the Star line train, a young looking Malay man. OK! All train drivers and policemen look young when you get to my age. We had a very pleasant trip and as the train was a bit late I did not get the chance to thank the driver. We changed to the Putra line, asked for a ticket to KL Central from the ticket window, I don’t trust machines in case they eat your money or have run out of change etc. There were only two platforms so that bit was easy; we stood on the platform to wait for our train. A train came the other way, it appeared to be driven by a brother and sister who looked about 5 and 6 respectively. I did not worry too much. (See earlier comment re train drivers and police)
Our train pulled up, a pregnant lady with her three-year-old toddler drove it! No one else seemed to look worried, they just got on, I kept a stiff upper lip and we got on. It was then that the old Chinese proverb came to mind, namely “Always read train ticket in foreign country”. It said, “Welcome to the longest driver-less train in the world”. A computer drove the trains, now I was really worried. The program seemed to have been designed by the same person who did the Wild Mouse, a big dipper type fairground ride at the old Luna Park on Sydney Harbour. The trains maintained the same speed whether travelling uphill or on the flat, most unnerving.
The train slowed at KL Central and carried on. The platform was boarded up and only half built. The driver-less train carried on for another kilometre to the next station. We had had enough of trains for one day and decided to go and get a taxi to the Orchid gardens. The final insult occurred when we came to the automatic ticket barrier that would not let us out because we had travelled past our station!
The watch
The scenes for the next vignette are the islands of Penang and Langkawi; they belong to Malaysia and are in the north near to Thailand.
We sent a few e-mails and made a few phone calls before we found the Federal Beach Resort on Langkawi Island. Everywhere else was busy for Christmas. This resort is on the south west of that island. The sand on the beach is very fine and white and the resort has a pool that is bath water temperature!
I have never owned a waterproof watch, whenever I go into the shower or swimming pool I have to remember to take off my watch. Judy has always owned a waterproof watch and wears hers everywhere.
I saw my chance in Penang. There are lots of roadside stalls selling watches, all with well-known brands. They are also quite cheap. Anyway to cut a long story short, I bought a Tag Heuer 200 meter waterproof watch for the equivalent of 6 pounds 70 pence. I had to haggle a while because the vendor originally wanted 8 pounds.
The thing is that I think a Tag Heuer in England is a few hundred pounds let us say 700. Well, if I bought a watch for 100th of the price it is in England I was wondering if it was genuine, what do you think?
It does not stop there; if I bought it for a hundredth of the price maybe it is only waterproof for 2 meters? Well, to prove a point I wore it in the pool. I took it down to half a meter – beyond that I would tend to drown. It is still going but there is a mist on the inside of the glass. Do you think I have a bargain?
The Tour – A Summary
Country and Impression Towns and Areas Visited
England – The Most Complex Place Reading, London, Essex, Kent, Sussex, Cotswolds, Peak District, Salisbury and Stonehenge, Plymouth, Bath, Folkestone, Warwick, Buckinghamshire, Northamptonshire
France – The Most Cultured Boulogne-sur-mer, Berch-sur-Mer, Bertangles, Amien, Paris, Epernay, Lac de Boison, Lyon, Perpignan
Luxemburg – Multicurrency McDonalds (Just drove through)
Germany – Huge Thermal Baths Mosel and Rhine valleys, Trier, Bullay, Burgen, Koblenz, Mainz, Heidelberg, Baden Baden, Titisee in the Black Forest
Switzerland – Scariest Mountain Roads Zurich, Luzern via Schwyz and Brunner, Interlaken and Grindlewald, Zermatt and Grimsel Pass, Schuls
Austria – Driest Air (Nice place really) Innsbruck, Salzburg
Czech Republic – Most Pastel Coloured Buildings Lake Lipno, Cesky Krumlov, Cesky Budejovice, Prague, Letz
Spain – Biggest Happy Surprise Costa Brava (Tossa de Mar), Barcelona, Denia via Valencia, Costa Blanca (Altea, Benidorm and Alicante), Madrid, El Escorial, Segovia, Burgos, Santander
Bahrain – Most Muslims! Al-Manamah, the capital, the Tree of Life and the King Faysal Bridge
Singapore – Biggest Drains Little India, Sentosa Island, City Centre
Malaysia – Friendliest People Malacca, Kuala Lumpur, Penang (Georgetown and north of island), Langkawi Island
Contacting the family Hunt
The family Hunt may be contacted via e-mail. The only email address to use is bhunt@pinncomp.com.au. Beware of imitations!
This site is hosted in New York and forwarded to AOL (America On Line), which we pick up all around Asia with different local dial numbers in each country.