Off again
Yes, in a rash moment I committed to fly to England to help my Mum celebrate her 100th birthday. So, here I am on the way to Taipei in Taiwan and then after a week on to England.
With nothing better to do than to eat, drink, sleep and watch movies I thought it behoves me to create a literary masterpiece – stop laughing at the back!
We only just left…
After flying for 3 hours at 930 kms per hour (578 mph), we had just left Australia. We flew most of the length of NSW and from the bottom to the top of Queensland and finally over the bay of Carpentaria, that’s the huge bay left of the spiky bit at the NE corner of Australia. There was a great entertainment system on the plane which is an Airbus A340 courtesy of China Airlines which by the way is a top class airline. It was a good job this was a 9 hour flight because it took me an hour to work out how to drive the audio visual system. I notice some people leave it on the maps with the little plane that shows where you are.
Years ago there was a single movie on long flights shown to the whole of the cabin via overhead screens. Now the choice of entertainment on this plane is:
19 full length movies
36 short documentaries
15 music channels
247 CDs or sets as some are 10 CD boxed sets
19 interactive games.
I sampled the music of Spanish Guitars and moved on to a Welsh Male voice choir. I should mention that the movies, documentaries and CDs are all on demand so you watch/listen when you want. You can even pause when you want to get up to go to the loo, make a cup of tea or put out the cat etc.
An interesting touch is that you can view ahead and under the plane with the aid of two movie cameras.This feature is not new, many years ago American Airlines mounted a camera over the shoulder of the pilot looking out the front windscreen. The camera was later removed from all their aircraft when it was realised that prior to a fatal crash of one of their flights all the passengers would have watched the rapid descent and crash on the overhead screen. There were no survivors.
When the lady behind me got up to go to the loo she used my seat back as leverage and it nearly came off its floor bolts. I did think the Anger Management CD might be next after the choir or perhaps the Feel Good Collection: Magical Relaxation. In the end I chose Karate for Beginners – how to immobilise your opponent.
My current diet demands that I order a special meal i.e. Diabetic. The special meals always come out first which is great for 2 reasons. First, you get to eat ahead of everyone else and they all crane their necks to see what they are missing. Secondly, the special meals are all prepared on a one off basis and are usually better quality than the conveyor belt mince and mash as was the other choice in this case. (I had chicken and fresh vegetables with fruit)
The origin of the saying “There’s a pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow”
You may be surprised but I think this saying originated in Taipei. However, I must first tell you of the alleged easy trip from Taipei airport to my hotel. Easy trip was what I previously thought and others agreed.
I should first set aside a rumour that has come to my ears, namely, that some of my tales of previous exploits have been exaggerated. I shall not dignify the rumour with a comment but say that what follows is a true and accurate record of events.
You may know that I tend to plan a trip as far in advance as possible and this one was no exception. I therefore researched the best way to get from the airport to my hotel, I came up with an express bus to the Taipei main MTR (Metro/Underground) station and a taxi to the hotel. Time one hour – cost Aus $11. It was gratifying to be told at the information desk at the airport that that was the best way to go.
I must say that the trip so far had gone well, OK you have to discount that I left my hearing aid remote control at home which Judy has posted to Simon’s home. It is not a problem, I just can’t listen to music or go directional. On the good side I had not missed any planes and none had crashed. By the way it is a misnomer that people are frightened of flying, they are frightened of crashing. You also have to ignore the unplanned shower – on the plane – when the air steward spilled a glass of water over me. This was all for nothing when I arrived at customs in Taipei – second in the queue, but I digress.
So express bus Number 61 left at 7:50pm and arrived without incident 40 minutes later at the main MTR. I walked calmly to a waiting taxi. The young driver spoke no English but my travel agent, Amy from Coffs Harbour Flight Centre, thoughtfully wrote down the hotel name in Chinese which I showed him. The driver set off with, I might say, a confident air and much nodding.He put me down and pointed to a building. I happily paid him the equivalent of Aus $4. He may have sensed that I was interested in visiting a computer mall although at 9pm after a 19 hour day I was rather more keen on finding my hotel but sadly a computer mall it turned out to be. Anyway, anyone can make a mistake. I found out that I had gone the right distance (hence the right cost) but in the wrong direction. No matter, it was easy find a new taxi and simply drive to the hotel.
A new tax was hailed. Now as I said anyone can make a mistake, mine was to hail the cab at the traffic lights. The driver stopped and as it was too dangerous to open the boot here I put the case on the front seat and sat in the back. I handed the driver the hotel name (Chinese) and a picture and address in Chinese. The picture was in English only the address was in Chinese.
The light in the cab was poor so the driver got out and read the address and looked at the picture by the light of the headlamps. Traffic rushing past all the while but no one seemed to mind. Because I had taken time to study the map I was cheered after we set off to see some landmarks that I knew to be on the way, the main MRT for example, with which I was now quite familiar.
So, a little hiccup but now we were “on the good way” – an expression of which a French boss of mine was fond. At one point I spotted the Ximen MTR station that I knew to be near the hotel. The driver stopped and got out. He was lost and he asked a couple of people where the hotel was. They pointed and off we went, we then asked two separate taxi drivers and stopped again outside the Green Dragon hotel. As I knew we were close I said I would get out and walk – I think he was relieved. He pointed right and he was happy to be paid half the fare on the meter which was Aus $5.
So wheeling my suitcase into the unknown off I went. I won’t bore you with the details of the shop assistant who helped me, the hotel receptionist that gave me her map in Chinese, the mother and two daughters who wanted to direct me back to the hotel marked on the map from whence I had just come. I won’t dwell on seeing the Green Dragon a second time. The score wasby the way, Green Dragon – 2, main MTR – 2 and my hotel – 0. I must however mention the group of 8 young Hong Kong tourists who asked three people and assured me the hotel was just up the road. Off I went still, I might add, undaunted. I went on a bit further and was consulting the map when my 8 new friends caught up with me. (We met again when I was on the way to dinner). They asked around again and joy of joys we saw the sign for the hotel in fact we were stood at the end of the hotel itself.
So in summary, I met a lot of interesting people , the express bus company and two taxi drivers made money out of my trip which to this point was to the end of my hotel named “The Rainbow”. I think it fair and reasonable to say that the expression originated in Taipei – “There is a pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow”
Remember you left me tired but happy to have found the Rainbow. After a quick shower I thought a meal was the next activity on the agenda. The hotel is in the middle of a pedestrian mall with many different cafes and restaurants. I decided to try a cafe serving the local cuisine.
Dinner
The cafe that attracted me was run by a couple of ladies one of which said “Welcome” so I thought that was a good start and in I went. Another bonus was soon apparent when she went in the back and produced a menu written in English. She seemed fairly adamant that I should try the Cuttlefish with Noodles. To say I was dubious was an understatement, let me explain. When I was growing up at home we kept a budgerigar, in fact we kept two serially not in parallel.
Each was called Beauty because we only had one at a time there was no need to call them Beauty minor and Beauty major or anything like that. It also made life easier for them I expect as they learnt to say there name and Beauty major would have been more difficult. This was the extent of their vocabulary and I think only Parrots on the shoulders of Pirates say “Pieces of Eight” or tell jokes about vicars.
Anyway, in order to keep their beaks in trim we used to hang a piece of Cuttlefish in the cage for them to gnaw at. By the time the meal was served I had resolved that if the main ingredient came with beak marks on it I would either see if the hostess could understand “There are beak marks on my Cuttlefish” or failing that see if my phrase book covered it. It was a pleasant surprise to see that the cuttle fish was a soft white substance that looked like a Caterpillar on steroids. On reflection maybe I did not get Cuttlefish at all but Caterpillar, they do sound a bit alike.
Breakfast
I have been advised that porridge is a good breakfast to start the day with and so I set off in search of some the next morning. I was so lucky to find a cafe called Dante that advertised “Poridge Cereal”. It was a bit different to what I have been making for many years. The Taiwan version had meat and cornstarch in it but still very yummy.
My children have been know to be mildly critical of my ability to make porridge for less than a tank battalion in one go. Also some of the ticker batches were considered for use in some form as anti tank weapons. It was gratifying, therefore, to see when I sneaked a look at the pot of porridge in the cafe that they suffered the same affliction. In fact, it made my efforts look half hearted.There was enough porridge to feed all the bears in China.
Directions
I have mastered the maps of Taipei now. When I first arrived I found them difficult to understand but I have realised that there are always at least two ways of spelling a place/road in English. So, as I understand it, Kueishan, Gueishan and Guishan are all the same place. What fun but a compass helps getting about.
This new found knowledge has denied me some new experiences, namely asking the way. Everyone is so helpful and friendly. As English is taught in High Schools most young people speak some English.
You remember the 8 young people who asked random people where the hotel was and did not stop until they found someone who knew, we met three times in all.
I asked a security guard who spoke little English for directions to the Metro, he stopped another man who spoke no English, the second man asked a third who spoke good English. They chatted between themselves for a couple of minutes and the result was “to the lights and turn left”!
On another occasion I knew I was really close to the Museum of Miniatures but could not see it. I was in the Business district and asked a young executive. He looked at the map which had the Museum marked. He said he could not read English well and did I have a Chinese map. I obliged and we opened them both up to compare and find the Museum. It was difficult to manage them both so he spread them on the pavement and we knelt down to study them, as you do.
He was not having any luck so we packed up and went into a nearby shop. It turned out that the Museum was next door in the basement of an office block. The only sign was in Chinese on the side of a column.
The Museum,by the way, was fantastic.
A bath
I spoke too soon about mastering the maps because yesterday I decided to take a bath, did I hear you say “Why?”
Well, Chinese New Year is fast approaching and I thought I would get clean and ready for it. As I like a hot bath I decided there could be no better place than at Beitou Hot Springs Public Bath – cost Aus $2. I tried to bargain but it seemed to be a fixed price. As it was for 2 and a half hours I decided it was, after all, value for money.
I consulted the map and thought it would be a good idea to walk from Beitou main station instead of taking the train for wimps that put you down right at the Geothermal Park.
This was OK in theory but I had not bargained on my map not showing all the roads. I was doing fine until I did a bear right instead of a straight on.I realise all was not right so I asked a man washing his car for directions. He did not speak English but pointed to my Chinese map and with hand signals put me straight.
I had gone about 100 meters when he pulled up beside me a bade me to get in the car. He gave me a lift right to the park. It was quite a way in fact quite a 2 bear trip.
Let me explain, I always have a few Koala bears on the end of key rings (not live but small and fur covered plastic with hinged arms). These are for people that do me good turns above and beyond the call of duty and this being a 15minute ride I thought it was quite a 2 bear trip.He appeared very pleased and somewhat surprised; maybe he doesn’t get given many Koala bear key rings.
The baths are very well organised as they are cleared of people at the end of each session before the new lot are let in so there I was queueing at 1:30pm ready for my bath. It was designed for locals as there were few signs in English but I thought I would be fine as what could wrong. Well, on reflection I should have waited to see which change rooms the other men went in, I had a 50% chance of getting it wrong which is what I did. I soon realised my mistake and, no I did not see any naughty bits.
Also, had I read that well known work “The design of Geothermal bath pipework for beginners” I would have known that the pool at the top where the hot water starts would be the hottest. Another clue was that its only occupant was a man with a crimson complexion. However, I could not let the side down by not getting right in once I had started. I was the only Westerner there and I had to show them what we are made of (in this instance Red Jelly).
I had chosen a Sunday to have my batch quite by accident but I was surprised that almost everybody else was up to their necks in all the pools (of different temperatures) with their eyes closed and their hands out of the water together as if in prayer. I did not want to cause offense and so in case it was a religious thing one did on a Sunday I sat with my hands together and my eyes shut.I sneaked a peek and was surprised to see that there was a vicar in the pool who was not praying.
Please believe me when I say that I knew he was a vicar because he had a toweling dog collar with a short bib on the front. I thought it was fair enough as he was probably having a day off and was allowed not to pray.
It actually took me about five minutes to realise that we were not praying after all, the hands together out of the water is so that the fingers don’t end up looking like pink prunes and the eyes closed stops the sulphur from hurting the eyes. The soon found the cure for sulphur in the eyes was to blink continuously for 2 minutes.
The whole experience was great fun and the only mishap (apart form the Ladies Change room thing) was that I momentarily mislaid my underpants but we were soon reunited.This reuniting happened, sadly, after I was fully dressed. I hoped I would not get run over on the way home as my Mum said I should always have clean underwear on in case I have a road accident. Anyway, my undies were clean, Mum, but alas in my backpack.
The personality of the ATM
I have decided that while I really appreciate the warmth and friendliness of the Taiwanese people I wish the ATMs were a bit more direct. I needed some cash and found an Hwate Bank ATM. It asked for my card which I gladly gave it. The PIN was entered, I was offered an International Withdrawal from Visa. I entered the amount and was offered the option of a receipt which I also accepted. After much whirring it offered me my card back again. Then it said sadly it could not give me any money as I was an error 4703. The error code was not on the list next to the machine and anyway all the explanations were in Taiwanese.
After visiting the Mega bank close by an assistant there said the the machine was not really connected to the overseas system.
I concluded that the Hwate machine did not want to hurt my feelings with a message at the outset. I would have preferred when the system looked at my card it just said “No money for you – your foreign”.
The escalators have the right idea, they have a message next to a picture of a man holding the handrail – it says “Stand firm”. It always makes me stand upright and face forward. I have been tempted to sing a marching song.
If something else worthy of note happens I shall write again,
Bye,
Barry
Porridge regained
The house of porridge otherwise know as Dante cafe has been lost. Well, I guess it is fair to say that they know where there are but I certainly don’t. For the last two mornings in a row I have walked the streets around the hotel to try and find may breakfast cafe that sold porridge but with no success. Undaunted I tried again this morning and casting my net further afield found porridge. It was a Dante cafe but not the original one I for which I was searching. No matter, I was happy to be able to have the breakfast I know and love. I mention all this because, dear readers, should you be in the same predicament here in Taipei and likewise suffering a porridge deficiency here is the GPS location of Dante Cafe on Chengdu Road West. It is N 25.02.596 and E 121.30.244
I decided that I should get more adventurous with my diet and try more local cuisine. I through caution to the wind and started eating at places with no English on their menus but just pictures and Taiwanese. This only let me down once and I seriously considered lodging a complaint to the Trade Descriptions court. I selected a brown looking soup dish and it should have been coloured flame red as it was molten chili. My taste buds came back into use about 24 hours later.
Now for the supreme test, I am writing this in a cafe with no English menu and no pictures. I have just eaten Squid and Octopus soup (with other unknown ingredients) and a bowl of rice. I was so pleased that even though I pointed in English they understood what I wanted and the meal was great.
Taxis mastered.
This is a day of firsts, becuse I ventured into a taxi and got exactly where I wanted to go, first time. I even told the taxi driver the name of the place. OK the place was ‘Shilin’ so I admit not the greatest linguistic feat. I thought I should have a practice taxi ride in preparation for the airport trip on Thursday. It is a great shame that ‘Shilin’ is nowhere near the airport. I think I should practice hand gestures as a back up. So in my room tonight I shall go round and round with my arms outstretched. Knowing my luck I will be taken to the revolving scarecrow museum.
My Taipei Observations
TV:
There is a shopping channel that devotes much of its time to ladies corsets. As the girls that model the garments are so slim and the camera spends long periods on the girls chests I have concluded that a major benefit of the garments are to push the chest up and out. NB Since writing that we have moved on to bras and these seem to have the same chest pushing qualities.
Food Court:
The basement of the 14 storey department store Shim Kong Mitsukoshi has a great array of food outlets specialising in cuisines from many countries.
Local Handicrafts:
Without doubt the 4 floors of the Taiwan Handicraft Promotion Centre is the best selection anywhere. They have a full range of souvenirs of all qualities and prices.. The selection is far superior to any Night Market I have seen.
So, tomorrow is the last day for Taiwan style porridge and I shall miss it.
I took the precaution of finding where the airport bus leaves from the MRT (Metro) Main Station today so after a short walk, one stop on the MRT, another short walk and bus ride I will be at the airport. I am hoping for a lot less drama than the trip in to the hotel last week.
I fly out just before midnight (Thursday) and arrive in London at midday (local time) on Friday. With the time difference I am actually travelling for 20 hours including a 4 and a half hour stopover in Frankfurt.
What fun!
Lastly, I have to say that I could not praise Taipei high enough. I have seen some beautiful temples, museums and interesting shopping. I have always felt very much at ease and never threatened. The people have all been, without exception, friendly and helpful. Just great,
I cannot believe that an in transit stay of 4 hours in Germany could yield so many experiences. I’ll let you be the judge of whether they were good or bad.
#1 Chips and shrinking bits
My morning walk, in the dark, started off out of the car park and down the airport approach road. I kept inside the barriers by the side of the road and all was going well but I panicked. What if I got stopped by the police and was hauled off to the police station and charged with escaping from an airport or endangering motorists etc. I decided to walk back to the car-park and so did numerous circuits of it and the coach stops passing, I might add, some food counters.
My defence for succumbing to buying a bag of chips whilst on a diet is:
1. It was below freezing with snow on the ground.
2. I walked past the chip counter 4 times (3 passes is recognised as the limit of human endurance before purchase mania takes hold)
3. I was frozen to the bone.
4. Parts of my anatomy (of which all men have two) were so cold they had shrunk. I thought of showing the lady behind the chip counter my problems and ask whether she thought they would ever regain their original size but my command of German was insufficient. I contented my self with clenching and unclenching my 2 fists to restore them to normal size. What did you think I meant?
So, that is the case for the defence.
I was so pleased when I asked for the chips and the size of the bag in German with a Danke on the end for good measure. She clearly understood my request and I was so proud and surprised I let myself down. I blurted out “Was that right”, she said in perfect English “Yes, well done”. Oh! Well
Editor’s note: This piece was written up while seated in the plane on the tarmac at 11am. There was a machine like a water cannon spraying de-icing fluid all over the wings prior to take-off.
#2 Directions German style
Exam question: Compare and contrast getting directions in Taiwan and Germany. Give examples.
Answer: I will answer the question by way of illustration. (“Directions in Taipei” is well documented in previous newsletters – please refer).
My experience started with my desire for an apple. I knew from previous visits to Frankfurt airport that it contained therein a supermarket so as this was to be my source of supply but I needed directions to it. The lady I asked for directions (only the second person I talked to at the airport) was a lady who was checking documentation prior to admittance to the airport lounges. Her immediate reply was “Have you got time?” And then “What time does your plane leave?” Bear in mind that the time was 6:45am so as curtly as I could manage I said 11:00am. Her reply was that’s all right then but she did not know how to get to the supermarket. A college came up and he very precisely explained where it was, past the Police station, outside on the road, turn left, down the escalator and there it was. Excellent!
#3 Würste fait
In the supermarket I selected two Royal Galas and saw a hot food counter that sold various sausages in buns. I had to spend a few moments in the queue so it gave me time to read and practise the pronunciation of the special würste of the day. This I did tolerably well I thought. Anyway after a bit of looking in containers and a one sided conversation during which I smiled and nodded understandingly, I got the impression that:
1. They were not allowed to be sold to foreigners with bad German accents.
2. They were not allowed to be sold to foreigners who did not put up a fight.
3. They were playing for time while the police were called or
4. There were none hot.
I, dear readers, at this point, lost my nerve. I pointed to the long curly sausage at the front of the counter. All I got was the single word “Bratwürste” in a disparaging tone. It sounded more like a put down than the name of a sausage.
#4 Diet Coke trafficking
This one, in my view, is the best.
The security check prior to boarding the plane out of Frankfurt was rather more stringent than at some airports. The lady security guard asked me to take everything out of my pockets – metal and non metal to be scanned along with my coat and backpack, that was fair enough. I also had a 600ml Diet Coke bottle with about 100ml of coke left in. She queried this and I offered to drink it prior to going though the check-point. She said no just drink it after you pick up your stuff. I went though the metal detector and set off a buzzer – I was waved at with a metal detecting wand and they found my watch, belt buckle etc and I was pronounced safe. When I went to collect the coat etc. another guard came up and asked the usual string of questions, did you pack your bag etc. Then he picked up the coke bottle and said I could not have it, it cannot go on the flight and it was being confiscated. I offered to drink the contents on the spot. He said No – I reasoned that his colleague had said it was OK to do just that. He told me I was rood. I said I would take it back out through security, drink it and return. He agreed to that. He would not return the bottle until I was back out of the security area. It took 7 seconds to drink the bottle next to the x-ray scanner and I started to take off my coat again. A second lady security guard came up and led me through security by-passing all the checks and said “Enjoy your flight” – the second guard with some common sense.
What fun!
1. Heathrow strikes a blow
2. A birthday and a play
3. Books and Cream Teas
4. Heathrow strikes another blow
Heathrow strikes a blow
My flight to take me to the UK was from Frankfurt to London Heathrow using British Airways and therefore the new Terminal 5 otherwise known as the largest lost luggage facility in the world. You may remember when it was opened last year they had an enormous amount of teething problems. Luggage was lost, so much of it in fact the entire lost luggage had to be taken elsewhere to be sorted and return. Staff on the first day the terminal opened could not get into the car park so were late for work which added to delays.
With all this in the back of my mind, I wondered what T5 had in store for me. Well, I was not disappointed although not British Airways fault. My suitcase did not arrive with me. China Airways had 4 hours to get my suitcase from the plane from Taipei to the flight to London at Frankfurt. It was a distance of 100 meters, in the event they took 4hours and 20 minutes. Luckily I had enough warm, if smelly clothes, on me to survive. British Airways knew exactly where my case was and promised to deliver it the next day to Birmingham where I was staying with Simon, Anne and Jessica. All’s well that ends well.
Mum’s 100th Birthday – a success!
The reason for this trip was for me to celebrate Mum’s 100th birthday which I did and (I think) a good time was had by all. Mum, it must be said, has not in her 100 years learned restraint and so, due to an excess of sherry and champagne, had a snooze during my speech. OK, to be fair, so did some of the others at the party.
The Queen sent Mum a lovely card and signed it personally. I think the Queen got the idea for the design of her card from my daughter Karen. Karen has, for some years, put a photo of her children Sarah and Chloe on the front of her family Christmas cards. Once there was a great shot of the girls hanging upside down on a cross bar. So, that, I believe where the Queen got the idea to put a picture of herself on the front of the card. The Queen was, of course, the right way up.
The Mousetrap
A few days after the party I spent the day in London and in the afternoon I thought it would be a good experience to see a play. My first choice did not start its run until the next day so I choose the Agatha Christie classic “The Mousetrap”. I went to a half price ticket agency who wanted 9GBP to book the best seat at 36GBP. I decided to try the theatre’s ticket office. When I said I was hard of hearing I was offered one of the best seats at 20GBP with a pair of remote control headphones to help me hear. What a great deal! The play was excellent.
Heathrow Terminal #4 strikes another blow
It will not surprise you to know that I was due to fly out of Heathrow on Monday 4th the same day as the worst snow falls for 20 years in the UK. My scheduled trip was Heathrow to Amsterdam by KLM, Amsterdam to Taipei and Taipei to Sydney by China Airlines.
My drive from Wokingham to Heathrow was very slow due to the weather but as the M4 motorway had been salted to clear the snow I was able to get through. During the drive I learned from Anne that my 10am flight to Amsterdam had been cancelled.
The KLM ticket staff at Heathrow was extremely helpful and found me a seat on a later flight but it was to depart just at the time my flight to Taipei left. This meant that I would have to stay overnight in Amsterdam and catch the same flight to Taipei 24 hours later. The next problem was that there were no spare seats on flights to Sydney for the rest of the week. Great!am teas w
During the 45 minutes that I spent at the counter various options were explored. The best alternative was to fly from Amsterdam to Taipei with KLM (not China Airlines as scheduled) the times were checked and the flight arrived before the flight to Sydney. KLM were allowed to change the ticket and so I thought that all would be OK. Two slight problems surfaced, the ticket could not be accessed at Heathrow by KLM this would have to be done by China Airlines when I reached Amsterdam. Also, there was a waiting list for the flight and I was number 16 on it. So, 16 people had to not turn up for the flight to let me on. But I thought one thing at a time – I had to get to Amsterdam first.
Anne was so good and she kept Judy informed of my progress (or lack of) and I promised to phone at Amsterdam with a progress report.
Books and Cornish Cream Teas
Jeremy Hopkins and I spent a few days down in Cornwall immediately before I left for home. After checking my email in the library at Penzance I spotted some withdrawn books for sale. I bought one for 10p (Aus 20cents) – I tried to bargain but the librarian was pretty tough and I had to pay the full price. The book was called “The Terminal Man” which is the true story of Mehran Karimi Nasseri who had his passport stolen and with no official identity or country of residence lived in Charles de Gaulle airport Paris for 16 years. I have since wondered if I tempted fait by buying this book.
Jeremy and I both wanted to experience a Cornish tea with 2 Scones, Jam and Clotted Cream. Well, to be more accurate I wanted to miss out the clotted cream but was looking forward to the rest. I think that as it was January and, as it turns out, just about to snow umpteen inches of snow, all the cream tea shops were shut. We eventually found a baker’s shop and had a lovely conversation with the lady baking and serving therein. We came to the conclusion that her skills were more towards baking than serving the public.
She advertised a takeaway Cream Tea for 2.65 GBP. Jeremy asked for one of those. I said I wanted one also but no clotted cream. Quick as a flash she said I could not have one. She explained that Cornish Cream teas came with 2 Scones, Jam and Clotted Cream and they were 2.65. Jeremy could choose a mixture of plain or sultana scones which he did. She continued to serve Jeremy. After he had paid she came back to me as said I could buy 2 Scones and a pot of Jam. It would cost 2.05, I, very politely, said yes, thank you. I choose my scone types and went to choose my Jam and started looking on the wrong shelf. I was soon rather abruptly directed to the next shelf along and I choose my pot of Jam which was slightly larger than the standard cream tea size. I duly paid and we left the shop. We thought how she may have handled the situation differently. Perhaps, charging the original 2.65 and saying No Problem when offering to change the cream for a larger pot of jam (which is effectively what she did). I would have been very happy as I got just what I wanted. If the scones were anything to go by she was much better at baking than customer service.
Heathrow keeps me a bit longer.
The new flight to Amsterdam was scheduled to leave at 2:15pm. Due to unspecified delays we boarded the plane at 3pm. After sitting for over half an hour on the tarmac, the captain said that the delay was caused because our luggage had been loaded into the wrong containers that did not fit the plane. They were being reloaded into the right containers and then we would be away. At around 4pm we were told that there was a delay in getting the de-icing truck to spray the wings. We were next in line to get de-iced and than we would be away.
My Mum learnt to lip read and, had she been with me, could have confirmed the conversation I think two maintenance workers had on the tarmac.
“Charlie, have you seen that truck with a spray thing on it?”
“No, Bill not since that bad winter 3 years ago”
“OK, Charlie you put the kettle on to boil and we will use that if I can’t find the spray thingy”
Well, you will be pleased to know that they found the spray thingy after a while and we left at 4:30pm. We were waiting in the plane for 90 minutes to fly the 40 minutes to Amsterdam.
Amsterdam and beyond
I was told by the very helpful KLM staff to go to the China Airlines desk in Amsterdam to get my ticket changed to KLM in case I managed to get a seat to Taipei. When I arrived I found that the China Airlines desk was in the other terminal. It was about a 15 minute walk. When I arrived I could not find the desk and asked at the Information counter. There the lady said she would not tell me where the desk was. I was somewhat taken aback until she added all the staff left 4 hours ago – it is only staffed when the one plane a day leaves.
I decided to go to the KLM sales counter to try to get the ticket changed. Of course, “That is in the other terminal” at least I knew the way.
At the sales desk the assistant was particularly helpful. She was able to get access to my electronic ticket with some help from the KLM IT dept. The ticket was changed to allow me to fly with KLM to Taipei. It was then that I found out that the 15 people ahead of me were staff and that I was the first real passenger on the waitlist. I had to check in my suitcase and go to the departure lounge and there they would tell me if I could get a seat. By now I had 20 minutes to check the case, clear security and get to the gate lounge. I made it with 5 minutes to spare.
I was greeted at the gate with “Hello Mr. Hunt we knew you were on your way – we have an aisle seat for you if that is OK”. I told the lass I would happily be strapped on the wing.
The end is neigh
So, that’s all folks as the cartoon says.
I hope you have all enjoyed reading about my exploits and the people I met. Who knows maybe I will travel away again and if I do and anything unusual happens I will let you know – I have started my research for the next trip to….
Barry
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